Leading From Behind

“Your place just outside the village, where the villagers come when they need wisdom, awaits.”

This quote came in an email from my dear friend Katie who is well on her way to being a brilliant writer (look out world!).

I had been telling her about the new subscription I am launching in to grow a community for micro businesses and give them a space to work on their businesses together with me every month.

Community is a web where we are all connected.

And as I read her words, I felt huge relief about the role I had been in as a business coach and leader all these years.

I realised in that instant that we have all been led to feel that our businesses are about us. That to be successful, we have to project this shiny, unrealistic version of ourselves and our story.

As a business your role is not to be the hero/heroine of the story. You are the backdrop to the story so your client can be the hero/heroine.

Let’s go back a bit.

I am the only daughter of an Italian immigrant who came to the UK in the 60’s to escape poverty. I was always the ‘good girl’ at school and was the first person in my family to go to university. I was bright and ambitious. Your typical golden child, looking for approval through accolades and distinctions.

So naturally I went into leadership roles in my professional life. Working my way up through management, senior management and eventually managing director of a think tank and CEO of a charity.

When I was made redundant from that role (and found I was pregnant two weeks later!) being resourceful as ever, I set myself up as a business consultant and then a business coach.

Sixteen years on I am finally (and with great relief) relinquishing my leadership ambitions. This unspoken desire to be seen as a ‘someone’. After much soul searching in recent years, I now see that I dreamed of greatness as a way of securing love, which in turn engendered acceptance and belonging.

I don’t take this realisation lightly. The need to be a part of the family, the tribe, is a primal emotion that taps into our deepest fears and desires, but what has shifted for me is that I now belong to myself. The security I was seeking comes from me.

But what does all this mean for my business? And yours?

Burnout and exhaustion come from always having to deliver, being in a place of strength, always having something to prove.

What I realise now is that it is far more beneficial to me and my clients to be a reflector, a facilitator. Of course, there will be times when I talk about myself and my experiences, even proffer advice, but only in so far as what is useful to the person I am working with.

I need to talk less and listen more. When people look at me, I want them to see the successes AND the failures; the successes that are important to me. For the longest time I thought that to be a good business coach I needed to be the most successful person in the room. Now I understand how deeply flawed that perspective is.

And that was making me sick and stressed. The pressure to always be that person.

Therefore, I am creating this community, not with me at the top, but with me in the background.

Yes, I am here to answer questions and give guidance, quietly and humbly leading from behind, not from in front.

I am very much in business to dispel the myth of what it means to be a business owner in our toxic, patriarchal society. Because how we do business matters to our communities as well as to our clients and customers.

You only have to look at geopolitics to see how toxic leadership has become. How polarised and partisan. And many businesses have gone the same way. We don’t need, or indeed want, to emulate that in our businesses, or see that as a pathway to success.

So, if, like me, you are feeling sick and tired of having to be in the spotlight, then step outside it. And if you thrive being in the limelight, then do that. I’m not here to tell you how to use your natural talents and powers. But don’t do it because you feel that you ‘should’. Because you feel that is the only way to be successful.

As Susan Cain, author of ‘Quiet’ and leading authority on being an introvert says:

“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”

I’m creating this community so that micro businesses and the owners behind them have a place and a space to come together. To work on their businesses with me and with each other. To learn from each other and be supported by each other. An antidote to Instagram, Tik Tok, ‘living my best life’ nonsense. So, we can get real about what it means to be in business.

Join me for £10 a month and get the following:

My weekly newsletter full of actionable tips and advice to help you grow your business AND make life a little easier.

A chance to work on your business with me through:

1. A dedicated monthly AMA (‘Ask Me Anything’) newsletter where I will answer questions from the NYAB community

2. A monthly podcast exclusive to the NYAB community, where I dive deeper into topics from the AMA

3. An exclusive NYAB chat community

Why subscribe?

Being any kind of business owner can be a lonely place to be. There are so many things pulling on your attention all the time, and the buck stops with you.

Being a micro business owner can feel even more isolating as you are working completely on your own with limited time and budget.

If we are to create the businesses that allow us to thrive, not just survive, we need other people. We need to come together. We need community and there are very few spaces dedicated to micro businesses.

The NYAB community is a place where you can be seen and heard. I’ve been working within the micro business space for 27 years and I know what you are going through. I have made so many (so many…!) mistakes. Let me show you how NOT to make those same mistakes.

Let’s learn from each other, support each other, so we all rise together.

Running a business isn’t easy. But it doesn’t have to be so damn hard either. I’ve got your back so let’s take the next steps together.