Why Showing Up Feels So Hard (And What to Do About It)

Let’s talk about fear of visibility

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You know you should be posting. You know consistency leads to sales. You’ve got a brilliant offer that could genuinely help people. And yet… you find yourself hesitating. Overthinking every word. Editing a post to death until it doesn’t even feel like you anymore. Or just avoiding showing up at all.

This isn’t laziness. It’s not a lack of discipline. It’s your nervous system doing its job: keeping you safe.

Because marketing, especially values-aligned marketing, requires visibility. And visibility feels like risk.

Your Nervous System on Marketing

If you’ve ever hit “post” and then wanted to crawl under a rock, you’re not alone. Marketing yourself (instead of a product or service at a distance) triggers deep, primal fears. Rejection. Judgment. Exclusion. Because somewhere in our past, whether in childhood, workplaces, or even online spaces, we’ve learned that standing out can be dangerous.

This is particularly true for those of us who:
✅ Have experienced being dismissed, talked over, or belittled for our ideas.
✅ Grew up in environments where playing small was safer.
✅ Belong to marginalized communities where visibility can bring real harm.

So when you think about marketing, it’s not just “I need to post more.” Your body might literally be responding as if you’re walking into a battlefield. Racing heart, tight chest, that sinking feeling in your stomach. Your nervous system is trying to protect you from what it sees as a real threat.

How Fear of Visibility Impacts Your Business

Avoiding visibility often means:
🚫 Inconsistent marketing, making it harder to build momentum.
🚫 Watering down your message so much that it loses impact.
🚫 Playing it safe instead of saying what you really mean.
🚫 Hiding your brilliance behind generic content that doesn’t connect.

Dear solopreneur, I say this to you because it is SO common, you’re not bad at marketing. Your nervous system just hasn’t been taught that it’s safe to be seen.

I wrote this post recently and it got a ton of comments and engagement because it hit a nerve.

How to Regulate Your Nervous System & Show Up Anyway

This isn’t about forcing yourself through the fear or shaming yourself into “just posting more.” It’s about building capacity for visibility, and resilience in a way that feels safe and sustainable.

Here’s how:

Regulate before you post. If your heart races before hitting publish, try grounding yourself first. Breathe deeply. Shake out the tension. Remind yourself: It’s safe for me to be seen.

Start where you feel safest. If posting on Instagram stories feels easier than writing a long post, start there. Build visibility like a muscle—one small step at a time.

Shift your perspective on engagement. Instead of focusing on how many people see your content, focus on meaningful connections. Marketing is a conversation, not a performance. I have a really small list and I get a lot of engagement that leads to income. Don’t be fooled by numbers.

Create a system for consistency. Remove decision fatigue by planning content in advance so you don’t have to wrestle with the fear in the moment.

❤️ Compassion is key. Fear of visibility isn’t a personal failing—it’s a nervous system response. The more you meet yourself with kindness, the easier it becomes to show up authentically.

Want to build marketing confidence while honouring your capacity?

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If fear of visibility is keeping you stuck, let’s untangle it together.

📌 Book a 90-minute Breakthrough Session – We’ll get to the root of what’s holding you back and create a plan that feels safe, doable, and actually works for you.

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Thanks for reading.

P.s. If you want to learn how to price your offers in a way that feels fair, sustainable, and aligned with your values, my free masterclass, Fair and Fearless: Ethical Pricing Strategies for Solopreneurs Who Want to Do Good and Make Money will help you break free from undercharging so you build a thriving business that works for everyone.

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